Five years with P!

P is a ten year old boy who has been in our care for the past 5 years.  He was born with a cleft lip and palate and abandoned at the front door of a beer factory at one day of age.  P was in kindergarten when his orphanage asked if he might be able to join one of our foster families.

When P first arrived, his speech was a little bit unclear but now he speaks clearly and confidently.  He’s matured into a very smart and capable ten-year-old.  His foster parents say that he is helpful to his siblings and does his chores cheerfully without having to be reminded twice.  

P is doing very well in school and he loves to read.  

Of course, like any typical boy he has lots of energy to burn off… one of his favorite things is to go outside and run!

P has recently had the opportunity to begin an extracurricular program studying traditional Chinese medicine.   This innovative program was developed by a group who teach traditional Chinese medicine and are hoping to bring this knowledge to the next generation. P was selected among a small group of students at his orphanage to participate in the program.  

His teachers are impressed at how well he is able to grasp the concepts and recite the traditional texts. 

We are so grateful to all who support our work.  You make it possible for us to provide nurturing, family-based care to children like P.

Made For Love - Understanding Identity in Adoption

Currently we are taking on a new project, that is, writing a practical manual for Chinese families who are considering adoption. Until now, we have worked primarily with children inside orphanages and from disadvantaged family situations. We have also worked with adoptive families in China and abroad, whose experiences, struggles, and reflections have helped shape our understanding. This manual is our first attempt to organize the knowledge we have accumulated so far into a tool kit for domestic families who are preparing to adopt today.

As we started writing, one topic quickly stood out as both essential and difficult: identity. In the English-speaking adoption community, identity is a central concept. It refers to a person’s internal sense of who they are, where they come from, and where and how they belong. Adoption professionals speak openly about “adoptive identity development”, “narrative integration”, etc. However, in everyday Chinese family culture, identity is usually understood more externally: family name, ancestry line, social role and status, or household registration. 

Often, the question of identity is inseparable from another deeply rooted practice, where adoptive parents do not tell their child about the adoption. This is meant to protect, especially for those who are adopted young (Many parents who adopt older children also try to avoid this topic). In their view, knowledge of earlier abandonment or institutional care might burden the child, cause insecurity, or bring about social stigma and even bullying. Silence means a clean slate, a shield, as if to say, “if you never have to know, you can grow up carefree.” 

At the same time, children grow up, and they cannot help but notice and wonder. Questions emerge when they compare faces, family stories, and medical histories, for example. It is human nature to seek coherence in their life stories, and what begins as protection may gradually become an obstacle to trust and self-understanding. 

In our manual, we treat secrecy not as a mistake to correct, but a caring strategy that needs to evolve as the child grows. We present quotes and examples from real adoptees who shared their experience of secrecy and openness. We show that disclosure is not something that we do “in the heat of the moment”, but a continuous conversation that grows with the child. Therefore, an important question to ask is: “How can we share our child’s story in ways that feel safe and age-appropriate at each phase of their development?” 

Once parents begin to see silence and secrecy as flexible, talking about identity start to make sense. Identity is introduced as the child’s developing answer to “Who am I, and where do I belong?” We emphasize that adoption does not erase a child’s earlier story, even when that story is painful or unknown. Instead, adoptive parents become companions in helping the child hold their whole story safely. 

Our hope is simple: to help Chinese adoptive families understand that identity is not a problem to prevent, but a process to protect and support. Honesty, openness, and respect for the child’s questions are not foreign ideas—they are acts of care that help children grow into secure, whole adults. 

Introducing Little T!

 We'd like to introduce one of our newest arrivals, a baby girl named T who was abandoned as a newborn in October.  She appeared to be perfectly healthy, but diagnostic tests revealed a heart murmur and a congenital hepatitis infection.  Her orphanage asked if we could transfer her to our programs and provide the special care she would need.

The doctors do not feel that her heart defect needs immediate surgery and have decided to monitor that for the time being.  Little T travelled to Beijing so that she can consult with the specialists about her hepatitis infection.  Despite these medical issues, she is a very typical little baby, who loves to sleep! 😴  

T's caregivers say that she is a very easygoing little girl who loves to be held and rarely cries.  They also say that she is very alert and smiles easily.  And of course she is enthusiastic about her bottle!

The older children are very much in love with her and they never miss a chance to hold and cuddle her (with supervision, of course!).

We don’t yet know what the future holds for little T.  We are optimistic that her medical issues can be resolved and that her orphanage will be able to seek an adoptive family for her.  In the meantime, we are privileged to be her family, and to provide the love and medical treatment she needs to grow and thrive.  Thank you for your support; you make it possible for us to provide nurturing care and healing to little ones like T!