Launchpad Part 1 - A Young Man's Dreams

 Although our work has for many years focused on infants, toddlers and younger children, we have long been aware of the need to provide services to teens and  young adults with special needs.  It is an unfortunate reality that many disabled orphans will transition to adulthood lacking the skills and resources needed to lead meaningful and independent lives. 

This was made abundantly clear to us when we were approached last year by a teen named YJ who had been helped as an infant in our medical home and then spent many years in one of our group foster homes.  His orphanage had recalled all of their children several years ago, as policies changed and regulations tightened.  This young man was 17 years old, had significant physical disabilities, and a dawning realization that he was facing a lifetime of "imprisonment" and isolation within the walls of his social welfare institute. (*See note about "aging out" orphans below.)

YJ as an infant in our medical home

YJ shared his hopes with us... hopes of furthering his education and learning vocational skills, getting a job, a house, and maybe even someday getting married and having a family.  He wanted to be able to go shopping for himself, eat out at restaurants, go to church, the movies, meet up with friends, maybe even travel... in short, he wanted freedom to  make his own decisions and pursue his dreams.  Of course he could stay where he was, never have to work, and always have his meals and shelter provided.  But he knew that life would not be meaningful or fulfilling.  He felt a great sense of loss for what might have been, and longing for more.

YJ doing therapy (age 8)

We left that encounter haunted by what he shared with us.  We realized that YJ was not an isolated case.  The feelings that he expressed were certainly shared by many young adults in similar situations.  But what was the solution?  Was it even practical or realistic to think that he could escape the future that was looming before him?

We began brainstorming, and while the list of possibilities was endless, so were the challenges.  It has been many months of planning, preparation, and countless soul searching discussions with YJ and others like him. The result is a model that we believe will be successful in helping motivated young adults make the transition from passive recipients of institutional care to productive, capable members of society.   

And so came the inspiration for our newest program  - Launchpad.  Stay tuned for our next post, where we'll share more details about YJ and the other young adults who are part of our brand new Launchpad pilot program, and how we are helping them turn their dreams into reality.

YJ working on his studies this year (2024)

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*We have heard from many who are interested in helping China's orphans (particularly adoptive parents) about their concern for "aged out" teens being turned out into the street and left to fend for themselves.  In our extensive work with countless orphanages over the past 30 years, we have never seen or heard of this ever happening.  This is because China's social welfare system is just that - a system of  social support for various groups of people in need, including abandoned children, those with mental illness, physical and intellectual disabilities, and the elderly.  Social welfare institutions exist to serve many different populations, not just abandoned children.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

 We've been busy getting ready for Mid-Autum Festival... hanging lanterns and making mooncakes.  Do you know how to make mooncakes?  The little ones in our Classroom of Smiles are happy to show you how!

There are different types of mooncakes, and different ways to make them. Our little ones started by kneading and rolling out their dough:

Then you need to put the filling on top, and wrap it up.  We chose a sesame recipe because... well, who doesn't love sesame! 

After the filling is enclosed in the wrappers, the cakes are flattened slightly and pressed with a decorative stamp

Then they are cooked on a flat griddle:

Don't they look yummy?

Can confirm, we did a little taste testing and they are delicious!  But don't worry, we saved some to eat on the actual holiday, too!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

A laundry day surprise...

Little JL was seven years old when he joined one of our foster families a year ago.  

JL was born with a cleft lip and palate, which were repaired when he was small.  He was transferred from a more rural area to one of our partner orphanages last year and they asked if he might be able to join our family model of care.   We were very happy to have JL join us, as we knew that being part of a family would make a big difference as he grew.

 JL is a curious boy, always asking questions and wanting to try things out for himself.  He's also very determined and independent, and this combination of traits can come sometimes lead to trouble!

JL loves tigers, rainy days and lollipops.  At school, his favorite class is math.  In the year that he has been with us we have watched him adjust to living in a family and make great strides in his maturity and development.

  His foster mom shared a recent incident that left her feeling overwhelmed with emotion: “JL was doing chores, and his task was helping out with laundry.  He was just about to start a load and noticed that there was a large wad of cash in the washing machine.  He immediately came to me and turned all of the money over.  I was amazed, because in the past he’s had the habit of taking things (sometimes even money) that don’t belong to him.  He didn’t even hide a little for himself, he gave me all that he had found!  As a reward for finishing his chores he chose an ice cream bar, which he enjoyed immensely.  He was very proud for doing his chores well and earning a small reward, but I was even more proud of him for his honesty and integrity!”

We are grateful to those who support our work.  We are humbled to be making a difference for children like JL, to know the love of a family and to learn values that will benefit him for the rest of his life.  

Made For Love - Behind Every Behavior...

 When we encounter behavioral issues in children impacted by traumatic experiences (such as abandonment, loss, and chaotic family situations), we believe it is crucial to remind ourselves that often, a child’s undesirable behaviors are triggered by unmet needs and/or trauma from the past.

 

Traumatic experiences often sabotage a child’s sense of safety and trust in adults. For example, Q spent his first few years in a traditional institutional care setting, where caregivers worked in shifts taking care of multiple infants. He was fed and changed regularly, but meaningful interactions were limited. Now at the age of 7, he loses his temper very often. This is not because he is defiant, or mean, but because the ability to self-regulate emotions develops through co-regulation with a trusted adult, which Q never had when he was little. 

Being mindful of how a child's past influences their present behavior means we need to be able to understand the lived experience of the child.

In our projects, we recognize that infants need meaningful interactions with consistent caregivers in order to learn to regulate their emotions.  Because of this we prioritize responsive, nurturing care for every child we care for, beginning as early as possible.

We provide trainings to our staff members to help them see beyond surface behaviors. To help the children heal and grow, we need to be careful and avoid pointing fingers at the child. Instead, we need to be curious and observant about what is really happening...

For example - one day, when all of the children were outside jumping rope, a staff member noticed Q was stomping his feet, pouting, and tears welled up in his eyes.

Staff: Hey, Q. You look upset. Could you tell me what is going on?

Q: No good! No good! I’m no good!!

Staff: Sounds like you are unhappy about something right now. What’s wrong?

Q: I can’t jump rope more times!

Staff: Ah, I see! You want to be able to jump more times than you already can. I saw you were doing great just now.

Q: But that boy over there can jump rope 100 times! But I can’t!!

Staff: Ah, that’s what you are upset about. … Really? Can he?

Q: Yes, he can! I saw it! Why can’t I do it? I want to do it! [Q is getting upset again.]

Staff knew the other boy was unable to do so. Maybe it was miscalculation? She decided to not debate with Q about whether the other boy could do so much.

Staff:: You really want to be able to jump rope like him, I see. You are 7 right now, and he is already 10. You are 3 years younger than him. Perhaps that’s why? Just be patient and keep practicing.

Q: But I WANT TO be like him NOW!! [Stomping feet]

Staff: It’s hard to be patient and you can’t wait anymore. [Q nodded]. How about you practice and practice every day, and I can watch you and help you count?

Q: OK!

Q cheered up, and started jumping rope again.

This is just a small episode in our everyday life where listening and attentiveness helps regulate a child’s emotion. When the staff member validated Q’s eagerness to excel and the feelings that came with it, his needs—to be loved, heard, accepted, to belong, to do well—were being met. He also learned that adults can be trusted. Of course, he still has a long way to go, and it is but one small yet critical step of helping him learn to regulate his emotions.

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Loving a wounded child requires the child feel seen, heard, and understood. We are devoted to creating a safe and nurturing environment where opportunities are provided every day for the child to freely express themself. 

We as adults are there to listen, to help them make sense of their emotions, and to teach them to master healthy coping mechanisms. As we listen to and understand a child’s unique experiences, we respect their dignity, promote their sense of belonging and self-worth, and support their development and well-being.

 

A very brave little fighter!

We like to give you an update on little  Q, who was born with a life-threatening gastrointestinal defect and left with a note from his parents saying that they were unable to provide the medical care he needed. 

 We saw him through that surgery and thought it would be smooth sailing after that. And it was, for several years. 

 When he was three years old we were shocked when his doctors found a mass in his abdomen. He had surgery to remove the tumor, which was only partially successful. 

 He was diagnosed with neuroblastoma and began chemotherapy. 

 He appears to have responded well to the many rounds of chemo, but we have been warned that this is an aggressive cancer and highly likely to recur. He follows up regularly to monitor for any recurrence. Each time he gets the “all clear” we breathe a sigh of relief, but also realize he still has a long road ahead. 

As if that were not enough for any small boy, we recently noticed that he was snoring and having difficulty breathing when he sleeps. He returned to Beijing to see the ENT specialists, who scheduled an additional surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids. 

 We are grateful to all who support our work.  Because of you, we had systems in place to provide lifesaving surgery to Q when he was first abandoned. And we were able to recognize, diagnose, and arrange surgery when he encountered his more recent health issues. But most of all, Q has not had to face these challenges alone. He has always had the comforting presence of his nanny, who has accompanied him on his many hospital visits. His caregivers have worked hard to ensure that his all of his medical care and hospitalizations were accompanied by love and nurturing interactions.  Thank you for making this possible!

The Beauty of a Family

 (Note: this post was written by LeighAnn, who worked at one of our orphan care projects 2019-2020)

When I first met Qi Yu, she was 2 years old. She was living in an orphanage in Northern China. One of the first things I was told about her was that she was matched with a family back in the US!

She was a very playful little girl. She loved running around outside with her friends. 

She was always happy go sit and get her hair done. One of her favorite things was helping the ayis fold laundry. She would fold the items smaller and smaller until they fit in the size of her tiny hand.

We had the joy of celebrating her 3rd birthday with the knowledge that her family day was coming soon! She had the most beautiful, delicious cake topped with cherries. She spent the rest of the day snacking on those cherries.

Fast forward 5 years and Qi Yu, now Antonella, just celebrated her 8th birthday at home with her family in Texas!

This year, Antonella requested a tiramisu cake and hot dogs, one of her favorite foods! She spent the afternoon swimming with her siblings and cousin.

Hot dogs! 

As I watched and played with Antonella, I kept thinking back to that birthday in China. While she had a happy day that day, there is always a bittersweet quality to a birthday in the orphanage. Watching her spend her day within the context of family reminded me of the beauty of adoption! While things can be hard, especially for families with medically complex children, there are so many simple joys.

On this day, there was the joy of Antonella jumping in the pool over and over, giggling each time! She got to pick out her own outfit and do her favorite thing- makeup! She was prayed over by her family. There was cake!

Antonella and LeighAnn

There is so much beauty in family and these special days make it so clear! 

Summer Evenings

 One of the children’s favorite weekend activities is heading over to a local park for the evening.   As soon as they arrive, the kids are ready to play. They start on the sports side of the park. They break into games of soccer, basketball, tennis, and more.

One of the biggest hits is jump rope. Some kids grab a short rope and practice on their own. Others join in some double Dutch. There is always a crew of onlookers- some waiting to jump in and others watching in awe! The count of jumps gets high! Some of the kids get near 100 jumps in a row! 

On the courts, there are a variety of games being played. Some of the older kids are trying to teach the little ones how to play different games. Groups of boys are trying to see who can kick the ball the farthest. 

They will play until near dark, stopping only for a picnic.

After a quick break to eat and rebuild their energy, the kids head over to the playground!

There is a constant stream of children coming down the slide. You see swings back and forth, going faster and higher by the minute! The climbing wall becomes a race and the monkey bars a fun a new challenge. 

After a fun evening, the kids are ready for a great nights sleep- even if they’ve got a few blisters on their hands! 

This time is precious to our foster families. It gives our children a time to play not only with their siblings, but also with classmates from school and kids from the other families. Our parents also get time to connect with one another. What could be more special?