Mystery Boxes - A Lesson in Giving

 During winter holiday, we received a donation of shoeboxes filled with gifts and were asked to distribute them to children who would benefit. These boxes were special because they were put together by students from a school in Beijing. Each box contained items like stationary, small toys, craft materials, wearable items, and handwritten notes with encouraging words. 

We gave out the first batch of gift boxes to a group of children living in a less developed area of a central Chinese province.  These kids come from difficult family backgrounds, each dealing with their own set of challenges. We had planned a one-day SEL (social emotional learning) fun-and-activity event for them over the Chinese New Year holiday break. We thought this would be a great time to give them gifts—as a way to send good wishes for the new year. 

The question was: how could we arrange this so it becomes more of a learning opportunity, rather than just another moment of receiving donations? 

Over the years, we have noticed that both children and adults who are used to being recipients of donations often develop a sense of dependence or even entitlement. Some began to see themselves as “charity cases,” which can shift their focus away from building skills and working towards a better life, and more toward getting things for free. 

Please do not misunderstand! Donations are vital. They help people through tough times and remind them they are not forgotten. However, as an organization, we always need to think about the balance between giving with kindness and receiving with dignity.

So what did we do?

                         

One of our staff members explained to the children, “A group of kids your age heard we’d be holding an event in your amazing hometown. They’ve never been here and were curious about you and where you live. So they wanted to send a little something to say hi. They each packed a shoebox with small things they chose themselves, and they want you to know it doesn’t matter that you don’t know them. Just have a great semester!” We used the expression “good wishes” instead of “gifts”, to shift the focus away from the object and onto the thought behind it. 

To make the moment fun and fair, we turned it into a blind box opening. A staff member closed her eyes and randomly handed each child a box from the large shipping package. Once everyone had one, they opened them all at the same time. The room was filled with “aww” “wow” and big smiles. Of course, not every item was a hit—some kids looked a little disappointed. 

          

That’s life, isn’t it? Sometimes what we get is not what we want. But in a safe and supportive setting, kids can practice handling those feelings. They can learn to speak up, solve problems, accept that disappointment is okay, and above all, no grabbing from others! When the excitement settled down, we announced that anyone who want to swap items could, as long as both sides agreed. Some traded, and some gave things away freely, without expecting anything in return. 

With help from the facilitators, the children shared how they felt when they first opened their boxes—excitement, surprise, curiosity, happiness, disappointment, and joy. Together, they reflected on the joy of receiving, and how special it feels when someone gives you something you truly like. 

The final step was for each child to design a blind box for someone they love—a parent, a friend, or anyone they care about. They were encouraged to think about what that person would love to receive. We also reminded the kids, “gifts don’t have to cost money.” They could include “service coupons”, like a ten-minute massage, washing the dishes, or telling a joke to make someone laugh. 

Learning to “give” is just as important as learning to receive. It shifts the focus from “what can I get” to “what can I offer”. It builds empathy, creativity, and a sense of purpose. Giving helps children see that they have value to add to the world, not just through things, but through thoughtfulness and care. 

In our work, we often talk about how children should not feel like they are being pitied. That is not solved by nicer wrapping or softer words. It is solved by helping them step away from the receiving end and experience what it feels like to give. One of the most powerful ways to honor a donation is to show children that they, too, have something to offer. Along with the gifts they received, they also walked away with a chance to pass on love and kindness to someone else. 

A Family and Future for L.Y.

We'd  like to share about a boy named L.Y. who has been in our care for the past 3 years.  L.Y. was 12 years old when he arrived at the orphanage, and they asked if he might be able to join our “family model of care” project.

L.Y. was sent to the orphanage because his father had passed away, and his mother was suffering from mental illness.  When she was hospitalized, there was no one left to take care of him.  Although he has no known medical or developmental issues, L.Y.’s chaotic family situation during early childhood certainly left him at a disadvantage.  We were very happy to welcome this shy, quiet boy into our Little Flower “family”.

L.Y. has benefitted greatly from having a stable family structure.  His foster parents have been helping him learn his way around the kitchen and he enjoys helping prepare meals.  

School is getting more challenging as he gets older, and he’s very grateful to have the support he needs to do well in his studies. 

L.Y. enjoys playing basketball when he has free time.  

He’s a very determined young man who works hard to succeed at whatever he puts his mind to.  The younger children really look up to their very gentle “big brother”.  

We are so grateful for your support; you make it possible for us to provide nurturing, family-based care to disadvantaged children who would otherwise end up in a typical institutional setting.  Our goal is to provide L.Y. with the vocational skills he will need to become fully independent once he finishes high school.  We’ve been able to arrange for him to take some classes in traditional Chinese massage.  

At this time, he’s considering either learning to cook professionally, or perhaps continuing his training in massage and pursuing that as a full-time career.  Whatever he decides, we are so grateful to be L.Y.’s family and provide the encouragement and support he needs at this very vulnerable stage of his life.  

Launchpad - Meet Luke!

 We wanted to give you a chance to get to know the participants in our Launchpad program.  We interviewed each participant so that they could share their stories, their hopes and how this program is helping to shape their future.

YG first came to our baby home as a tiny infant, so we have known him his whole life. He was born with spina bifida and received the life saving surgeries he needed though our medical program, and later joined one of our foster families.  He's now a young adult, navigating an ever changing society as a person who uses a wheelchair.

Could you please introduce yourself?

My name is YG, and my English name is Luke. I'm 20 years old and I like hands-on activities.

 How would you describe what you’re doing in the Launchpad program? 

I live in an apartment with three buddies, and Uncle and Auntie. I come to the social work center everyday, where we learn to do handicrafts and learn different professional skills. For me, that is huamo*. I read books and watch teaching videos about it, and I also make huamo for everyone to eat as practice at the center.

 

What do you enjoy most about being part of this program?

My favorite part is learning to cook. Every time when I try to cook, I look forward to what comes out of it, to tasting it. It is very different between how it looks and how it tastes. Once I enjoyed it so much that I cooked THREE complete dishes.

Do you have a favorite dish to cook?

Yes, Coca Cola chicken!

Is there a moment when you felt proud of something you achieved during training?

Yes. Although beading is not my favorite thing to do, it makes me really proud when others like the bracelets and lanyards I made and are willing to buy them.

 

What motivates you to keep learning or working in this field?

For me, it is huamo and beading, because I can make money doing them. Besides, the process of making them is highly enjoyable, you know, when you are really in the zone.

What are some things you’re learning about living independently — managing time, money, relationships, or daily life?

I think for me, I’m really learning about interpersonal relationship, how to interact with different people, which I had never experienced before. For example, I regularly interact with our landlord and professionals working in my compound, like cleaners, guards, and property management staff. I need to communicate with drivers on the bus of our usual routes [since I use a wheelchair and requires their assistance every now and then].

 

After we moved into our current apartment, we found the bus stop right next to it was not accessible at all for us wheelchair users. So we made some phone calls to the city hotline and other relevant departments, and eventually it was fixed!

What are your personal goals for the next one or two years?

Next year I would really like to take a leave from the social work center and spend a month with my previous huamo teacher to learn and make more sophisticated huamo. He has agreed to give me a discount, and I have saved up the money.

 
Where do you imagine yourself five years from now? What kind of person or professional would you like to become?

In a couple of years, I hope I will be able to live independently, to have a job and make enough money to rent a small apartment. I want to be independent and go to different places.

What message would you like to give to younger youth who are going to start their training?

Be patient. Don’t seek a quick fix. Try to see beyond what is immediately in front of you. For example, beading. It might not be exactly what you want to do, but try to think of what it brings you. Focus on the change of your way of thinking, because it is the environment that changes a person.

-------------------------------------------

---

* Huamo—traditional Chinese steamed bun, particularly popular in northern China. It is made from flour and shaped by hand into various auspicious patterns or forms, such as flowers, animals, or the Chinese character for "good fortune" (福). Typically used during festivals, celebrations, or ritual activities, huamo serves not only as food but also carries symbolic meanings of blessings and good wishes.